The Nymph, The Phoenix, and the Sorceress
by FellowshipOfRollingBackpacks
Summary: as usual, three girls fall into ME. And by the title, you can tell they aren't going to become elves. So of course we plan on driving the fellowship insane!
1. Computer freakout

Twelve, the Number of Completion  
  
-written by three slightly (only slightly!) insane girls  
  
A.N.- There are three friends writing this fic, Meahow (Yavanna/Yavi), DRUIDGIRL (Niamh), and nightgenie (Sabrina/Bri). Chapters should come pretty quickly, but be warned, our writing styles differ. For one of us (DRUIDGIRL) it is our first attempt at writing humor, so please be kind.  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Niamh's POV  
  
Slinging my backpack onto my shoulder, I walked out the door and jogged to my baby. My baby is a '78 TR6 Triumph convertible that my Dad bought me as a present for my sixteenth birthday, which was only three days past.  
  
I sped around to the other side of our small town to pick up my friends Sabrina and Yavi for school. My friends and I attend Ivy Wood High School, which is hardly more than a system of sunless torture chambers.  
  
"Yo Niamh!" Cried Bri as I slid over into the passenger's seat and handed her the keys, though silently warning her to not do anything to hurt my Baby.  
  
Bri has been one of my closest friends since fourth grade and one of those 'special' children. She has slightly curly black hair and dancing gray eyes. Unfortunately she has a rather unhealthy habit of pranking.  
  
"Next stop Yavi's house." She said, a silly grin slapped across her face, and a dangerous glint in her eye. I, from experience, wisely put my seat belt on. "Hang on Robin, we're going in for a bat curve."  
  
***  
  
Yavi staggered almost drunkenly out of my car, her face of an unhealthy pallor.  
  
Yavi is a friend I've had since seventh grade, and the resident genius of our trio (though sometime she is an insane genius). She has strait red hair that is about two feet long, and brown eyes that are almost gold.  
  
"You really ought not drive my car in such a fashion so as to make Yavi ill." I said, mocking my Language Arts teacher's manner of speaking.  
  
"It grieves me to inform you that you are an idiot." Yavi glared at Bri, and Bri held up her hands in the universal sign of defeat.  
  
Still glaring, Yavi stomped off to her classes. With an apologetic look to Bri, I trailed after Yavi.  
  
** Nutrition Break  
  
"C'mon guys! Make up already!" I cried, my desperation and profound dislike of the position they put me in, as the middle man...err woman.  
  
"No! Not until she apologizes." Said Yavi, standing off to the side of our den (a.k.a. the memorial rose garden)  
  
"Bri?" I asked, silently pleading with Bri to be mature for once.  
  
"I didn't do anything!" I sighed heavily and sat on one of the numerous benches. I closed my eyes my and fevorently wished for my love to be here. Legolas Thranduillion. Even the slightest mention of the name would invariably send me spinning of into a sweet day-dream in which he would descend like a god and carry me of into the sunset to live happily ever after. Did I mention I'm a hopeless romantic who is utterly smitten with Legolas?  
  
"Niamh?" Someone was shaking me and yelling my name, then a hand slapped my face.  
  
I slowly opened my eyes, as if waking from a dream (and what a lovely dream it was.) My friends glared at me.  
  
"You did it again!" They said in unison. Ahh, the only thing my friends agree on right now, annoyance and dislike for my infatuation with Legolas.  
  
"You're hopeless." Cried Yavi, throwing up her hands.  
  
"Proud of it!" We all laughed and the rift instantly became nonexistent.  
  
*** Computer Lab  
  
"Hey Yavi!" At my call, Yavi leaned over to let me whisper in her ear. As soon I was done, she turned to whisper in Bri's ear (Bri, who was sitting right next to her).  
  
"Good idea." Whispered Bri and soon we were all grinning like loons.  
  
Today we were able to do what ever we wanted because our teacher was sick and we had a very lenient sub. So, I thought 'What better way to pass the time then writing, and with friends!' You see, my friends and I are all members of Fan Fiction and we have all been wanting to co-write a fic, but were unable to do so, due to the lack of free time or to other reasons, but there was nothing stopping us now.  
  
We were quickly so caught up in the mundane details, that we had typed absolutely nothing.  
  
"Hey, who wrote that?" Asked Yavi, pointing to my computer screen.  
  
Typed neatly was the word 'Setting, Milady?' and it was blank, as if waiting to be filled in. Bri shrugged, slightly annoyed with the mention of the word 'milady' and typed in 'Middle Earth, Lothlorien.'  
  
As soon as she was finished, the words disappeared and we stared at the computer screen, transfixed.  
  
'Your element, Milady?' asked the machine.  
  
Even more angrily she typed 'Fire, and stop calling me Milady!'  
  
'As you wish Lady Sabrina. What is your direction?'  
  
'I'm warning you, you worthless piece of technology! Quit with the Lady crap! And what can you possibly mean by direction?'  
  
'Forgive me, but it would be disrespectful to not give you a title. What may I call you? When I ask what direction, I mean North, South, East, or West.'  
  
Yavi and I traded worried looks, but did nothing to hinder the conversation.  
  
'West, I guess.' Almost instantaneously, she disappeared.  
  
"Bri!" I cried and Yavi looked wildly about the lab to see if anyone else noticed, but no one had.  
  
'Where is she, you good for naught computer. I swear if you have done anything to harm her...' I furiously typed the message, then hit the Enter button hard enough to have made it crack.  
  
'Lady Bri is perfectly fine, now if you will answer the same questions, we will be on our way.'  
  
'Heck no, like were going to do anything that might put us in danger of being eaten by a computer.' Typed Yavi, though slightly less furious.  
  
'Then you will never see your friend again.' At this message, Yavi and I traded distressed looks. With a heavy hand, Yavi began to type.  
  
'Fine, and I warn you, if you harm my friends or I in any way, shape or form, I will personally make sure you never have children. Setting is Rivendell, Middle Earth.Element: Wind. Direction: North.' Instantly she vanished, and again, no one noticed.  
  
'And yourself, Lady Niamh?'  
  
'Same goes for me. Setting: Mirkwood. Element: Water, Direction: East.' That was before I too disappeared.  
  
A.N. – Well, tell us what you think, REVIEW! -N., B., and Y. P.S.: Due to reposting and new reviews, the above chapter has been edited and cleared of idiotic mistakes such as Legolas' last name being "Thranduile" or the misspelling of Rivendell. All Future chapters will be edited as was this one. 


	2. A river, an Elf, and a really confused g...

By Aran'sApprentice-Meahow. Yup it's a weird name isn't it? not as weird as some though... I used to only be registered on fictionpress, but that just changed... Anyway here it is--  
  
Yavi's POV  
  
I pushed the enter button and everything went blank. I was floating. There was a newspaper in front of me and I picked it up and began to read.  
  
Teens Die in Electrical Storm  
  
The girls were killed by  
  
electrocution, experts say.  
  
Duh, I thought. If it was an electrical storm, that's the most likely explanation. I read the next line and started to freak.  
  
Niamh Keltren, Yavanna Domingo, and Sabrina Bennet, all sixteen, were  
killed in yesterday's electrical storm. All three girls attended Ivy  
Wood high school, where they were working on a computer when a bolt of  
lightning hit the school's power generators, sending electrical waves  
throughout the system and causing a campus-wide blackout. The girls  
were killed by power escaping a faulty electrical socket. No one else  
in the room was injured.  
  
If I'm dead, I thought, why am I still alive? Then I passed out.  
  
When I came to, I was lying in wet sand...somewhere. I blinked, rolled over, and fell with a scream into water.  
  
My head went under and came up again, only to be drenched as a torrent of water poured over me, my feet falling three feet down a miniature waterfall. I was swept downstream, struggling to no avail. I had never liked swimming, being more of a mountain-climber myself, and I had no doubt that this would do nothing to strengthen my tolerance of getting wet. The water carried me relentlessly along, until my stomach hit something hard.  
  
Looking down between swells, I saw that my body had gotten stuck in in between the trunk and branch of a fallen tree, which spread out to the left bank about ten feet away. Once again, I was thankful that I'm definitely not the American dream.  
  
This was what I was good at. I braced myself against the slippery wet wood, swinging my legs under the branch while holding onto it with both hands. There were four branches, including this one, at intervals along the trunk, which I could use to support myself until I reached the bank.  
  
Keeping my body wedged in the crook of the branch, I pushed myself along, gathering my strength. Lunging at the next branch, I caught it and held on as the current tried to sweep me away, perhaps to my doom... I leapt again. two more...  
  
The next one looked trickier. It was very thick, and I didn't know if my hands would fit around it. Waiting until the water seemed to lapse a little, I launched myself at it and caught on, slipping but swinging onto the next one before I fell.  
  
I was feeling good with my skills now. The bank was right there, and all I needed to do was pull myself out and grab onto that jutting rock... then there was a loud crack, and I careened under the log with the branch still in my hands. I mentally cursed myself as I floundered in the rapids, knowing I would die—and I didn't even know where I was!  
  
A savage jerk on my arm interrupted my denotation, and I felt hands on my wrist as I was dragged into the shallows, where I flopped on the bank, gasping. I heard noises—talking, but in some type of gibberish. Getting onto my hands and knees, I expelled at least a gallon of water from my lungs, then stood up, looking at my surroundings.  
  
Standing around me were six tall, pale people, two women and four men from the looks of it, though it was sort of hard to tell. All were wearing green-brown tunics and no shoes, and had hair that extended at least to the middle of their backs. Only one, standing nearest to me and obviously my rescuer—he looked almost as drenched as I was—had dark hair; the rest were varying shades of blonde.  
  
The people started babbling again, and to my surprise I recognized some of the words—they were talking...elvish? Then two words popped into my head: Setting: Rivendell.  
  
No way, my brain said. Absolutely NO WAY. But here I was.  
  
The people—no, elves—kept on talking, and I began to get frustrated. I was soaking wet and tired, and they were just sitting there blabbing in a language I didn't even understand. What did they think I had been doing, having a good time and not trying at all to get out?!  
  
I stomped my foot—a childish habit I have never grown out of, ( never wanted to anyway) and said as loud as I could manage "hey elves? Umm, is there somewhere I can get food? Hey peop—I mean elves, or whatever you are!"  
  
The dark haired one looked at me and said, normally for once, "Come here. I can't see your face." I stayed where I was, but met his deep green eyes squarely. As I'm not the tallest person in the world, my eyes were about neck-level to him, so this wasn't the easiest thing to do; I managed it without my neck cracking more than twice.  
  
He had about the perfect face; they all were like that, though, so this wasn't very much of an acomplishment. I got a sudden, strange urge to see that beautiful face plastered with dirt and leaves, like me when I fell out of a tree once. Shaking the feeling off, I returned to reality. So much for getting away from the Johnny-boys.  
  
He stared at me for a second, then he whispered to one of his companions, and they started gabbling again—"Laüre! Laüre-Hen!"  
  
That, as I recalled, meant gold-eye. Were they talking about me? My eyes were brown! I tapped him on the shoulder, and he turned around, speaking rapidly before I could open my mouth, "I suppose we'd better take you to see my father, then, Laürehen—he'll know what to do with you." Without waiting for my answer he set off through the woods surrounding the river.  
  
Jogging to keep up, I found myself next to an elf-lady who was slightly shorter than the others (but only slightly) and since nobody else was talking to me, I told her, "Actually, my name's Yavi. Where are we going anyway?"  
"Elrond's house."  
"His dad lives there?"  
She laughed. "Elrond is Elladan's father."  
"Oh."  
  
I trudged into Elrond's house tired, out of breath, and complaining.  
  
"Gad, I hate running. I HATE running. Running, I hate you. I hate running! I'm NEVER going to run AGAIN." The dark haired one, Elladan, elbowed me in the ribs. "You, Laürehen—shut up!"  
  
"Its YAVI. Get it right, elf."  
  
"Only if you call ME by MY name."  
  
"No. Not until you can say Yavi."  
  
"Fine then. Be an idiot. You'll see what happens when you mess with me..."  
  
"I guess I will." Evidently this Elf was very fluent in English, or whatever we were talking; I had a feeling that what we were saying wasn't in my native language. Of course, this wasn't even my native planet, so who cared? If I knew how to talk in it, it didn't matter. I could annoy people...er, beings.  
  
After walking through long corridors, shady gardens, and other nice places that take too long to describe, we arrived at Elrond's chambers, or room, or office or wherever he makes his decisions.  
  
Out of the six elves that saw me down by the river, only two remained: the elf-lady who I had attempted to speak to earlier, and The Elf, aka Elladan, who seemed to have been grudgingly voted official spokes-elf of the group. For being my rescuer, he certainly hadn't been very friendly.  
  
Elrond was there. Tall, and dark, and grim. He was the only one that didn't look like if you lined him up with all the other elves in this place you wouldn't be able to tell them apart.  
  
The Elf was Elrond's son, eh? He had inherited his father's dark hair, but probably, from what I'd seen of him, no other good qualities.  
  
As far as I knew there were no other dark-haired elves in the place, other than Arwen, who I hadn't seen yet, so this would make it easier to tell them apart. That wasn't, as in his son's case, the only way Elrond looked different from anyone else, though; he looked more powerful. And always mad.  
  
Elrond looked me up and down as his son told him, with much embellishment on the part of the rescue, what had happened. Then, to my great joy, he dismissed The Elf and started, (not to my joy this time) asking me questions.  
  
"My son provided me with little information on your background. What is your name?"  
  
"Yavi, I mean, my real name's Yavanna, but that's like my nickname, you could say..."  
  
"Where did you come from?"  
  
Uh oh, I thought. Here it comes. "Um, well, I was in the library and my friends and I were working on the computer—wait um I mean this uh 'magic' thing called a computer sent us here."  
  
"It sent you here, from where?"  
  
"Earth! I mean, um, another world. A long ways away. And we were working on this 'computer' and it took us here—just took us. I mean, we told it the setting but we didn't expect it to do anything, we were just—"  
  
Elrond interrupted my less-than-adequate speech. "You're telling me that a 'computer' sent you from a place called 'earth', which is another world. In this other world, you knew about Rivendell and told it to bring you here, even though you thought it wouldn't?"  
  
"Umm, yes, that about sums it up." I could see he really didn't believe me though. I held my breath, waiting for it to pass.  
  
"All right. How old are you?"  
  
I opened my mouth to say sixteen, but what came out was "One thousand, seven hundred years. About." It was the first I'd heard of it.  
  
"Really? I had judged, from your size, to be about one thousand three hundred, but I could be mistaken. Let me see your hand." Surprised but obedient, I stepped forward and let him take my hand—a hand that just didn't look quite right. It must be the light in here.  
  
I felt some weird elf-magic touch my fingers for a moment, and jerked back. He didn't seem to notice.  
  
"A shape-shifter. There aren't many around here any more, especially in bird-form... to be specific, a Phoenix."  
  
"What the heck are you talking about?"  
  
"You."  
  
I gaped at him. Me a bird-thingy? I was a human, just like Bri and Niamh. My surprise was lost on him as he called, "Glorfindel! I need you to escort this girl to guest quarters, and find her an attendant." To me he added, "I'm finished with you. You may stay here, for now. Your attendant will tell you what you need to know, and answer your questions. Follow Glorfindel."  
  
I couldn't see why he couldn't just take me there himself, but I supposed he was busy, what with having to keep all those elves in line. It must be pretty hard, especially if they were all like The Elf.  
  
I followed Glorfindel, who as his name suggested had long, very golden hair. He led me down a few halls, through a couple gardens, out and in some doors, etc, etc, until we came to a long corridor of—gasp—more doors! He selected one by the entrance of the place and showed me to my room.  
  
There was a large bedroom, with a low bed that had clean white sheets, blankets, and pillow. A table and chair were along one wall, and a wood chest for clothes rested at the foot of the bed. There was one window, whose shutters were open to let the sunlight in. Torch brackets held currently unlit torches for nighttime. Just like Motel Six, without the TV.  
  
A door in the corner led to the bathroom, which had a chamber pot, a larger washbasin, right now dry, a counter, and a mirror.  
  
Mirrors have this sort of freaky power that entices me to look into them whenever I pass one. Or maybe I just like the way I look. I looked into the mirror during my inspection of the bathroom, and—  
  
It must be the light. The face in the mirror had my beautiful, wavy, red- gold hair, but other than that, she bore no likeness to me. Her face was small (I was used to that) with a sharp chin and nose, and her eyes stared back at me, wide, almond-shaped, and gold. Not brown-gold—real, 24-karat stuff.  
  
It was the skin that really got me though. Not my skin, which was pale from sitting in the Ivy Wood torture chambers taking Cornell notes. Not black but a deep, sort of brown, bronzed color. I guess some people would call it brownish-copper, or something like that...  
  
I gave a little gasp and whirled around to stare at Glorfindel, who was watching me with some semblance of interest.  
  
"There's something wrong with that mirror," I cried, pointing at it. He frowned.  
  
"Is it cracked? We can fix it, if its broken..."  
  
"No, its like tinted or something—it changed the colors. Actually, that's sort of cool...I look freaky!  
  
The elf moved forward to look at the mirror, and my heart gave a scary jolt. He looked totally normal! Then, that must mean...  
  
"No, that's not me!" I cried, staring at the mirror in horror.  
  
He was staring at ME now. "I see no problem with the mirror. Yet you speak as if you did not know your own face..."  
  
"But I don't!"  
  
I continued in this vein for some time. Eventually I annoyed Glorfindel so much that he left, grumbling about going to find me an attendant.  
  
A.N. Funnier chapter next time, allright? We promise...actually Bri should, she's the next one. Review more pleeeeease!  
  
Also, to our readers that think this is a MS fic, please read the next chapters. You will be surprised. (we promise) MS=EEEEEEEEVIL! If after the next few chappies you still think its MS, WE will be surprised.  
  
Oh, by the way, whatever Niamh says I am definitely not a genius.  
  
Our other fics—  
  
Niamh—DRUIDGIRL (fanfic) Yavi—Aran'sApprentice-Meahow (fanfic) or Meahow (fictionpress) Bri—Night Genie (both) 


	3. Freaky Little Blond Dudes!

Chapter 3  
  
Bri's POV  
  
A/N: I, Night Genie, own [the term] Johnny Boy (guy Mary Sue), nuthin' else though.  
  
I woke up and immediately realized that I was in a forest. It might have been the bright sunshine that we didn't get our school or it could have been the birds, trees, bushes and wet dirt under my butt that gave it away. I sat up and looked around. Let's see, what do we have?  
  
Hmm...trees,...dirt... bushes...freaky little blond dude with a bow and arrow pointed at me...well, nothing to help me figure out where I was...wait, what was that last one?  
  
ACK! FREAKY LITTLE BLOND DUDE READY TO SHOOT ME!... THAT JERK! What was he gonna do, shoot me?  
  
Why that little...now might be a good time to point out my extremely short temper. Well, my friends tell me its short, anyway. I think it's perfectly fine and...what's with that little guy?  
  
Oookay, little guy just got bigger...not-so-little guy noticed I was staring at him. The big guy said something in gibberish to other guys that I hadn't noticed before, surrounding me, and I got up to hurt him.  
  
He got closer and I curled a fist. Wait for it...wait for it...NOW! I threw a punch, which he managed to dodge, but then he freaked out for no apparent reason. What was he staring at?  
  
I followed his gaze to a tree that was on fire. Wow. Where did that come from? He glared at me as if I had just burned something he held sacred.  
  
Wait, did he think I did that? Yes, he did. Wonderful. Simply grand. The weird thing was that I thought I knew him. Yup, there was somethin' about his face that rang a bell.  
  
Hmmm, I though. Hey, he looked kinda like that guy that Niamh was always day dreaming about! Geez, what was his name?  
  
Umm...something to do with kid toys....hmmm...was it tonka? No, it was something ELSE made of cheap plastic. What about Barbie? That seemed about right, Mary Sue doll for a Johnny Boy prince of legos...wait, no Johnny Boy Elf prince's name was Legolas, right? Yeah, that's it! JB's name WAS Legolas!  
  
And this guy was what I called his twin just to annoy Niamh! This one's name was ...errmm...uuhhhh. Gimme a sec, I know this one! Erm...Haldir! That's the one!  
  
"Hey! leggo my arm, jerk! And stop speakin' gibberish!" I yelled, suddenly realizing that my attempt at remembering his name had given him the PERFECT opportunity to drag me off to who-knows-where.  
  
"What do you mean by 'ja-erk'? And how dare you speak to me in such a tone?" He has a voice! Hey! This one wasn't JB's twin! Where'd that one get off to? "I mean you're a rude idiot and I dare speak to you in such a tone to make sure you know it!" I said, trying not to use my native tongue, slang, so he'd understand.  
  
He glared at me. Well, that went well. Now, where was I goin'? and why was that other guy starin' at me? That's all he seems to be good at...OUCH! SON OF A NUTCRACKER!  
  
The guy that had been draggin' me along threw me in a cell and was walkin' away with the rest of his little gang. Haldir started to talk to the guy that had been staring at me, then I heard a heavy door slam shut and everything was silent. Great. Well, it looked like I was as good as screwed.  
  
I looked around my cell. It was......stone, and had a bed with sheets. Wow, they really went overkill with furnishing. I really needed all of this, didn't I? I sighed. Well, I'd better get used to it. I don't know why, but Elves are somehow addicted to trees, so I'm probably going to be here for a VERY long time. Doinghate.  
  
{} {} {} Orophin's POV  
  
Orophin's brother, Haldir, returned from his errand, to tell the Lord and Lady of the newcomer and what she had done. Aahhh, the newcomer. How beautiful she was! Her glossy raven hair, her beautiful dancing gray eyes! But she had such outlandish clothes: a blue coat, and a strange black blouse with an even stranger, yellow, poorly illustrated rabbit that had some form of Westron written under it. The letters looked something like this: ' I know how you feel, I just don't care.' And baggy leggings made of a strange blue material that was bell-shaped at the ends.  
  
And she hadn't noticed him at all! He would get her to notice...as soon as he got her out.  
  
Haldir was walking ahead of him. Orophin caught up to his brother and said, in Elvish, of course, "Haldir, you must help me get her out!" Haldir sighed heavily, already knowing his purpose for asking......or demanding, more like.  
  
"No, Orophin. You saw what she did. It would be imposible to get her out after that." Why did he always disagree with Orophin's choices?  
  
"Haldir, please, you HAVE to help me!" Orophin cried desperately, as soon as they had gone out of earshot of the others. His brother looked at him as though he had gone mad.  
  
"And why do you need my help?"  
  
Orophin glared at him. "Because I am not permitted to speak with the Lord and Lady. You know that!"  
  
Haldir faked a look of shock. "Ah, yes. That's right, isn't it?"  
  
He had always been a smart aleck, Orophin thought, and he seemed to be relishing the fact that he was suffering. "Well, I suppose she is to stay in prison then." Eru, he could be a pain. It was time for a little blackmailing then.  
  
"Remember when we were children and you had stolen those apples from our neighbor, Farmer Icarus, and he had caught you and told mother that it was one of us, and I had taken the blame for it?" Orophin asked.  
  
"I cannot believe that YOU still remember it,"  
  
"Do you know how crushed she would be to know that her angel-of-a-son had been the culprit, not the lesser delinquent one?"  
  
"I am very sure she doesn't even remember it. She's getting to that age, you know." He was getting defensive now.  
  
"She is only 927,831, . That young and senile, I doubt it. Besides, it probably scared her. She scolded me for 5 months, Haldir."  
  
Haldir sighed again and seemed more annoyed then before. It was working! He looked at his brother. "Fine, I'll help," he said, then added quietly, "for mother's sake."  
  
{} {} {}  
  
A/N: k people! Tell me what ya think! REVIEW! Or feel the wrath of the pen of doom! (dundundun!) And BTW doinghate is my trademark word, I will sue if you dare steal it!  
  
Yavi: We're sorry if this took a long time...we sorta lost track of the chapter... 


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